The article “The War At Home” by Chip Tsao has the Philippines hopping mad when it came out March 27 in HK Magazine. Three days after, it was pulled out of the magazine’s online edition and the magazine later apologized for the strain it caused.

 

The style is definitely satire as the HK magazine claimed it was in their apology. I am a Filipino but I was actually more amused than irritated by the article. Surely anyone could see that the exaggerated way in which Tsao related his treatment of his maid as a reaction to the news over the Spratly Islands is nothing but that, an exaggeration. I don’t know why anyone could have missed that the real issue here is not his calling the Philippines “a nation of servants” and belittling Filipino domestic helps but the fact that he thinks he is better — and the rest of China— than a Filipino.  What made my “blood boil” is the cocky way he said those very words. As if Filipinos do not have “the right” to send soldiers in the islands to defend it. Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. But I should think that as long as the  jurisdiction of the islands is in dispute, he shouldn’t be making conclusive and categorical statements that suggest Filipinos have no right to claim the island and the reason being we, Filipinos, belong in an inferior race.

 

This is a clear case of racism for me. The very tone he used in the article implied that Filipino is an inferior race compared to Chinese. And that I would not agree with. No race is better than another.

 

So you see, this isn’t a “servant” thing and is an issue bigger than OFW for me. And that’s probably why I wasn’t insulted by the artcile. Why should I be, when I know that racism exists only in the minds of insular and bigoted people.

 

Yeah, so just shoot me.

 

 

 

As a rule, I avoid writing and talking about politics. Airing political opinions is, after all, a moot practice when all one could do is debate endlessly without any real and concrete solution in sight. We may have a democratic government but the word doesn’t mean anything in a country populated by corrupt leaders.

 

But just this once I am going to break my rule and talk about politics in the Philippines.

 

Growing up from a home with a politically-inclined Father, I have formed my own stands and beliefs as early as six years old. While they may be largely influenced by my Father’s own views, I have never seen anything that will even remotely change them in all my adult life.  But I’m getting ahead of myself here, let me tell you why I feel the sudden urge to write about this.

 

A good friend of mine sent me a letter written by a fellow Filipino, a plea to all Filipinos. In the letter, Marcos was commended for putting the Philippines right on the map through his strong leadership and I quote ”He was one of the most admired Presidents in the world”. Macapagal (not the one sitting in the Palace right now) was also mentioned as one of the best Presidents the Philippines ever had. They had kept the economy thriving and the value of our money high. It was hard to imagine that the value of our money then had been Php2 to a dollar.

 

When I was young, I keep hearing how Marcos was able to build a lot of infrastructures like the LRT, the Airport (ironically now named after his archenemy), cultural centers, bridges, major roads, and others. All famous structures that are now considered as cornerstones in the country. His adversaries, on the other hand, hardly could lay claim to concrete proofs that we have not been paying our taxes in vain. And yet all kinds of maligning had been thrown against Marcos.

 

Yes, no ifs, ands or buts about it, I am for Ferdinand Marcos. I may be a baby when Marcos was President but I studied my history and knew that Marcos, of all the Presidents, did what should be done to ease the hunger and poverty in the country. He would not have been elected and made President for 21 years if the people thought he could not do his job. And if all his adversaries would be honest, they’d agree that life was better then than it is now.

 

Not a month ago, the list of the most corrupt countries came out. It wasn’t very surprising that the Philippines sits right there on the top 25% of the most corrupt countries in the world. No wonder the country’s not progressing.

 

How sad that not too long ago, the Philippines had been considered a developing country among the Third World nations, now not only are we seen as corrupt country, we are also drowning in huge economic crises the very leaders of this country helped in perpetuating.

 

I am not saying that Marcos was a completely upright and faultless leader, but at least he had the foresight in making sure no Filipino would go hungry in his regime. I couldn’t say the same to all his successors.

 

And we couldn’t even give him the credit he deserves for all the things he’s done for the country. No, we couldn’t even give him the funeral he so rightly deserves.

 

I have only one thing to say to those who have conveniently forgotten Marcos’ many accomplishments in the Philippines because the politics dictates censorious judgement of him. Go fool yourselves that the People Power had done more good things than bad for this country.

 

 

I don’t know if I should be ashamed that I have a double standard when it comes to the subject of panhandling. I do think that it’s okay to give when the receiver has evidence of justifiable reasons for the act. That is not to say I find it absolutely acceptable to beg and depend on others except yourself but I do believe that is another subject that, on some level, is completely irrelevant to the matter of whether one should extend a helping hand or not.

 

I chose the word help because I prefer to see it as an act of charity and compassion to those in need, although I’m sure others would argue that it is the very thing that makes beggars roam the streets begging for money. I have never heard anyone, though, speaks of a double standard charity and I am unsure as to how does that paint me as a person.

 

Of course, it is not like I would want to change my ways just because others think badly of me. My rule is simple, so you’re young and able? you shouldn’t be begging on the streets and you couldn’t expect me to give you even a single penny when my own mother was still working when she was 64.

 

On the other hand, I am soft-hearted with people who are too old to be roaming the streets, especially those with disabilities who depend solely on the kindness of others to survive. It breaks my heart to see old people begging people for a penny with their eyes devoid of any hope and good fortune coming in this life. These are the people, who may or may not have given their all for some break in their lives, but now are faced with the reality that eating even once per day is largely dependent on others’ loose change.

 

I’m sure some weren’t exactly looking for ways to change their lives when they were young. I understand that they’re entirely to be blame for their situation now. They may have been lazy in their youth and utterly lacking in ambition. But I prefer not to judge. Whatever they may have been, they are what they are right now.

 

Growing old alone is lonely, I cannot imagine how it would be even more so when you’re growing old with nothing but a few worthless parcels as your dear and entire possessions in this world.

 

So, panhandler? They’re as human as we all are.

 

 

I know I talked about this in my last post, but talking about “legal will” raises a lot of questions in my head that we’re surprisingly answered by unbelievable possibilities that are just too good to be true! So while we’re on the topic of “will”, let me just share with you one solution to complications associated with will or inheriting from a will that, I’m sure, some never thought possible! I know I didn’t.

Imagine, if you will, a person, or more to the point a heir to an estate, in some need of financial relief or perhaps financial assistance to an endevor, but not getting any because he doesn’t have it at the moment but nonetheless knew that it is coming. A sticky situation, for sure but one that could easily be resolved by an inheritance cash advance. So that means you wouldn’t have to wait till the long and gruelling process of estate probate before you can use some cash to good use! Now who would have thought that is possible?

Doesn’t that just solve all the drama of waiting for an inheritance? It does save one from being a horrible person, too, when “waiting” is taken out of the equation, don’t you agree?

There is no denying that in the modern word that we live today, people are more accepting of things designed to prepare us for the unknown future. Some things like funeral insurance, funeral arrangements, a will and all things that remind people of their mortality, and what people in our older generation think unnecessary in this life are the same things that people today are acquiring for themselves and their loved ones.

You’ll be hard-pressed finding anyone who frown upon even the most necessitous of people making and leaving a will, for example. The operative word is being ready for whatever the future may bring.

For the affluent population, on the other hand, where making a will is the only option, sometimes leaving a will can’t be as simple as all that. Leaving a will is synonymous to finding a probate attorney. All the more so if they’re really made of money with all sorts of relatives clamoring for their share of wealth. Such is the world we live in nowadays.

Chalk it up to changing values and culture, money has become the end all and be all for some, the Law had to make room for judicial certificate that will prove a will to be genuine so as to accomodate (if you ask me!) the vulturelike attitude of people over money and all things the word “will” conjures.

Yeah, if there’s a will there’s a way, huh?

The word conservative conveys ideologies and ideas, stereotypes and politics as well as beliefs and morality. And because there are many aspects of being and not being conservative, it always puzzles me why people always equate the kind of clothes one choose to wear as a sign of being or not being conservative and then label it as good or bad.

In our changing world where being a conservative is often viewed as something bad, it is troubling why when it comes to dressing, it is marked as a sign of having high morals. The inconsistency is exasperating for sure, but one that may be explained as “some things are good some things are bad” and while I do not believe that morals can be seen through one’s choice of clothes, others are quick to judge.

Perhaps it is the stereotype that a scarlet woman dresses indiscreetly that makes people so judgmental and often sanctimonious, but you can’t declare someone a fallen woman just by looking at the clothes she wears, just as much as you can’t say a true lady is of loose morals because she choose to wear modern clothes.

Yes, the operative word here is modern.

Count me in among the many liberals who think it is simply an expression of one’s fashion sensibilities, and who’ll rise up in a battle against people who think dressing in a tad revealing clothes means having loose morals and character. I would admit that I’m no liberal at heart and often have conservative views, which is why I’ll contend in a heartbeat that choosing racy clothes is the same as having an unhonorable self.

Trust me, modern clothes and conservatism can co-exist.

I recently had a conversation with a friend which reminded me of an article I read a long time ago about the benefits and importance of pre-conception care in fertility.

Nowadays, parents are consumed with giving “the best” for their children. Best milk for babies, best toys to play with, best stimulation for their intellect, best care possible and best school for when it’s time to study. There’s nothing wrong with wanting only the best for your child, but some missed out the fact that before pre-natal, there is also a very important stage that is pre-conception.

In as much as giving “the best” is essential to a developing child, it is not the be-all and end-all factor that a parent should consider in purporting to have one healthy and intelligent child. Pre-natal care is important too, but a lot of people knows that already. What’s getting the least attention and one that is equally important, is the pre-conception stage. Albeit your child gets only the best kind, and he had received first-rate pre-natal care, is he a product of a good embryo to begin with? Is that child, who came from an embryo then a fetus,  a product of a good egg and sperm cell of the mother and the father? The effort to make your child the best that he can be should not start on the point when you’re choosing the best school that you can afford, or perhaps the best milk that is available in the market. Neither should you start when the baby is still in the womb, having a healthy diet and living a healthy life. It is best to start from the beginning and before you even conceive the baby. Needless to say, it is easy to imagine the optimum level a child of a good embryo can reach. How well the parents-to-be are taking care of themselves before conception influence the kind of egg and sperm cells they produce.

Thus, pre-conception care is not limited to the woman-parent but the man-parent as well. About three years ago, my husband –then, fiance’- and I theorized that cellphone bases had something to do with heart problems of his male co-workers’ babies. The daughter of one had a hole in her heart and the child of another had some obscure heart ailment. The only common denominator that they have is that they both work in a telecom station with cellular phone bases. There are recent claims that we have reason to avoid such bases, and a man’s health is as important as that of a woman’s and both should take extra care of themselves when planning to have a baby.

I wish I could recall specifically the statistics mentioned in one study conducted of parents obsessively giving “the best” they can give to their child but forgetting other factors that are necessary for a child’s optimum development.

I remember when I was in college, our chemistry professor once said that the best eggs in a woman come out about 12years after her first menstruation. That is, the quality of egg is at it’s best at that time. However, generations today are not very concerned with egg quality. More often than not, they choose career first or life status before going on the path of pregnancy. While it is responsible to do so, it is critical to recognize the age as a weighty factor in having quality eggs. There’s a reason why older women tend to have more fertility problems than younger women.

Caring for your babies and wanting the best for him is not just about giving what you can give before or after his birth. It is also about caring for yourself before you even conceive a life and guaranteeing that you give the best of what you can give. And it goes for both men and women.

When you lack that certain zeal in everything you do, does that mean you are good-for-nothing slacker? or you merely lack the motivation that compels you to act and do things passionately?

I was having this same discourse on passion by somebody and the word lazy cropped up on more than one occasion. It made me question if lacking passion in your life means being lazy and unpersevering.

Perseverance does spell passion in that being tenacious means you have such strong will to succeed and is passionate in your determination. However, not all people with strong will have such intense emotion in doing things, and as such, passionate. But lacking that zeal doesn’t make one a lazy person especially if the will to succeed yields results.

On the contrary, passion can be an innate quality of a person but laziness is a learned behavior that can be unlearned if one is willing enough, and that’s how I view it, eventhough, there are studies linking laziness to heredity. What I’m trying to say is that, when you are innately passionate about the things you do in life, success always happens as a consequence. Seemingly without so much effort. In a snap, just like that. But when you’re lazy, you can only dream of such things happening in your life (pun intended). And I have yet to hear a person says “lazy” and “effort” in the same breath.

What do you think?

Response VS Reaction. Is there a difference, really?

Let me share with you what I have learned recently.

Response is defined by the Dictionary as an answer or reply, as in words or in some action, used for variety of reactions. Reaction, on the other hand is described as action in response to some influence, event, etc. So how do we set a line between response  and reaction. A friend referred to these two as Two Types Of Answer. Let’s take a look at a practical example.

If for example your wife says

“when are you gonna bring home enough money to feed all the mouth in this household?”

and you answered sarcastically with

“as soon as you start earning your keep!”

or perhaps 

“why don’t you wear the pants and why don’t I stay here all day with the kids?”

or something to that effect, you are without doubt reacting to her words. What if you answered instead calmly with

“I know it’s not enough but I’m doing my best”

Then you are responding. Even if you replied in a soft admonishment for her lack of faith, but you made it in a constructive manner with an aim to resolve the discontentment, then you are responding to the situation. As in when your mother says

“when are you going to get a real job and stop sitting in front of that computer all day long?”

and you answered patiently with 

“mother, this is work. what may seem as just sitting all day to you is actually work for me”

.. as compared to

“I hope you’d  mind your own business, mom. You don’t hear me complaining when you’re sitting all day watching tv!”.

You may say that responding, then, is a stoic response to a provocation. But I’d like to label it as a constructive and logical address to a situation concomitant with patience and calmness. Response can deflect negative situation and turn the whole thing into positive discussion, while Reaction encourages retaliation.

So, how are you dealing with unpleasant situations in your life lately? Are you responding or are you reacting?

I was in search of some site for baby names the other day and came upon a link to a very funny observations on parents naming their kids. Some of the comments of the writer, I would agree, are rather mean, but others are downright funny people in the cafeteria where I was spending the afternoon netsurfing were giving me funny looks for laughing out loud (alone!). I couldn’t help it

Click this for a good laugh today.